The New House Rules
by Ramzes
Summary: When a baby and a dog are forced to live together, the dog is always the afflicted one. Padfoot has to learn that by his own bitter experience: Cane has just been born. AU
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. Except for my salary that doesn't come from Harry Potter world.**

Thank you, saiyanwizardgurl, for this edited version of the chapter.

Chapter 1

During the last months of Angela's pregnancy, one of the very few things that she and Sirius both found amusing was the dog-related advices. It all started when one of Angela's friends from Hogwarts visited her at the flat. Since Sirius was never too fond of Rachel Grey, he changed into Padfoot so he would not be forced to be in the same room with her and listen to their conversation. And then, seeing him, she asked the question that would soon become a topic of conversation for almost everyone who would enter the Blacks' home. "What are you going to do with the dog? Send him away?"

Those who asked that question were mostly people who did not have a pet and had no idea how it felt to get attached to an animal. Angela and Sirius soon found out that one of the very few times when they did not feel like arguing was when they had guests; Sirius lied curled in a ball next to Angela's legs and hardly kept his merry barking when he heard her asking, "Why? If the dog is kept away from the child and all hairs are magically brushed away, how would the dog bother the child?"

Having no pets, the guests, of course, did not know how to answer. They had heard some theories about allergies, but they could not give Angela a precise answer to her question. Their reply was usually along the lines of, "Well, a dog and a child together – no. The flat will become too dirty for the baby." At this point, Padfoot felt personally insulted and started growling until the guests would remember that they had a very important job right now and leave.

Another sort of advisors were those who tried to persuade Angela that she could not handle a child and a dog at the same time, even for the simplest things like taking them out for a walk. A child and a dog outside at the same time were impossible to keep under control. Here, Angela and Padfoot did not even bother to fight those ridiculous statements because it was clear that the problem was not with them but with the advisors, whose knowledge of dogs was limited to their non-handling of their imbecile and ill-trained spaniels that got them out of hand, as Angela once told Lily.

It was all for fun – a way to lessen the tension between the two of them. When the baby was born, however, things turned out to be quite serious.

"Sirius Black!"

The dog jumped off the sofa where the one week-old Cane was lying, and looked guiltily at the newcomer. Angela, who had not recovered yet from the childbirth and was very exhausted because the baby had cried for hours last night, was standing in front of him. Her eyes were puffed from the lack of sleep and full of irritation. Padfoot shamefully scratched his right ear with his hind leg and looked at her with puppy dog eyes.

Angela shook her head. "No, Sirius, don't try to charm me with those eyes. I told you that I don't want Padfoot near Cane, and what do I find after waking up? Padfoot on the sofa with the baby!"

With a soft pop, Sirius appeared in Padfoot's place. "But, Angela – "

"No, no, don't try 'But, Angela!' You heard what the Healers and the Muggle doctors said – that dogs and cats should stay away from the newborn for at least a few months."

"I heard them, but I am not an ordinary dog. Merlin's pants, Angela, do you really think that I – that Padfoot – is contagious? That he has some sort of animal disease?"

She sighed. "No, I don't think so. I have to be sure, though, Sirius. If there is the slightest risk that Cane might be allergic or something else, I can't let you – Padfoot – to march around, shedding all over the furniture and licking him."

That was the greatest insult that she could throw at him. "Cane is _not_ allergic to me!" the Animagus exclaimed indignantly. "You know that he isn't."

"I know no such thing, Sirius, and neither do you. We have to be careful."

Sirius opened his mouth to object, but rethought and closed it shut. He looked at the infant, who was sleeping peacefully, obviously not concerned at all by his parents' argument. _He must be used to it by now, _Sirius thought guiltily, remembering all the fights that Cane had heard through his mother's stomach long before his birth.

The baby stirred and meowed like a kitten. Sirius and Angela held their breath, but there was God in heaven and he loved them today – Cane did not wake up. Instead, he put his thumb in his mouth and started sucking on it.

Sirius sighed. _I'm a responsible grown-up now,_ he reminded himself. _A father._ Cane's well-being certainly was worth some sacrifices on Sirius' part.

And so, the new house rules were put into effect.

There were some problems, though. Never mind how much Sirius loved Cane, Padfoot felt like he was being constantly pushed into the background ever since the baby was born. He felt that the newcomer in the flat had displaced him in more than one way. It was not enough that he had to be careful about shedding. No, Padfoot was allowed to stay only in one part of the flat and he could only look at what was happening in the other. There was a line that he was not allowed to step over. Each time he tried to enter the space where Angela was lying with the new thing that had occupied his half of the bed, he was told, "No!" He had to become Sirius and even then, he had to wash his hands and face before being allowed in his own bedroom. He could not even think of lying in his bed in his dog form because Cane's cradle was next to the bed. He had to say 'goodbye' to transforming whenever he wanted.

Even worse was the hygiene he had to observe. He was not allowed to lie next to the baby or lick him. After a walk, he had to suffer being thoroughly washed and cleaned. Angela washed her hands each time she touched him and even changed the blouse she wore when Padfoot was in the same room with her before hugging Cane, as if Padfoot were some sort of mangy, dirty mutt. Even his best puppy dog eyes did not seem to work on her anymore, not when it came to Padfoot and Cane. The giant Grim could look sorrowfully at them for hours, but she would allow him to come and lie next to them only after he had changed back into Sirius and washed his hands and face. "It'll be only for a month or two, Sirius," Angela had tried to comfort him. "After we are sure that there is no danger for the baby, you'll be able to stay in your dog form around him."

"I know, I know," Sirius said. "The problem is that somehow I can't convince Padfoot."

All in all, when a child and a dog lived together, the dog was always the afflicted one. That was the rule, and the Black family made no exception. Even so, there were some things that were simply too much.

"Forget it!" Sirius snapped, when he heard what he was expected to do.

"But, Sirius – "

"Forget it!"

"It's for Cane."

"Padfoot has stopped shedding, he's being washed on a daily basis, he's even stopped sleeping on his own bed, just for Cane. Enough is enough, Angela! I'm not doing this, and that's my final word."

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_Two days later…._

"So, here is his milk, his stuffed toy, you know how to change his nappy, and we'll be back in two hours – "

"For Merlin's sake, Angela, calm down, it's okay!" Remus said, and she gave him a nervous smile.

"I'm sorry."

"Anyway, why do you need a babysitter?" her friend asked. "Where are the two of you going?"

"Nowhere."

"Nowhere?" Remus Lupin was not stupid and he did not miss the sudden reddening of Sirius' cheeks. "Then why do you need me?"

"Alright, we're going to the vet," Sirius snapped angrily, shooting Angela an angry glance and then turning it to Remus. "Happy?"

"You are going to the vet?" Remus was trying very hard not to laugh. He wanted Cane asleep, not awakened by his father's yells – something that would certainly happen if Remus laughed now.

"There is a certain black dog that should get vaccinated," Angela explained.

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**A. N. The idea just popped out in my head, while I was reading an article about babies and pets. So, what do you think?**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: Always one and the same.**

_Thanks to __**Emerald**__**princess**__**3**__**SOR**__**4**__, and __**darkwhiterose**__ for their reviews._

Thank you, saiyanwizardgurl, for editing this.

Chapter 2

_Two years later…_

"Come in, come in!" Lily smiled in welcome, and Sirius entered the Potters' house.

"Is Angela here?" he asked, taking his jacket off.

"Yes, she came in about an hour ago. Said her business meeting went fine."

"Good," he smiled, entering the living room.

"Hello, Sirius," Angela said without looking away from her magazine. Sirius went to her chair and kissed her on the lips. She immediately tried to bite his lip, but he pulled it away just in time. "Sirius!" she hissed. "Lily will be here any moment."

"Nah, she won't." Sirius dismissed her objection with a wave of his hand. "Her stomach will need half an hour to find the way here, so we have time – "

"Hands _down_, Black," Angela snapped quietly, deciding not to fall for his charm. "I am still angry with you."

"Black – "

"Oh, don't you Black me, Sirius Black! You promised me that there would be no crazy Padfeet running around the flat this morning and what do I find when I wake up? Cane and Padfoot

playing tag, of course. Do you know that he was so overexcited that he did not leave me alone and I barely had time to make the final checking before my meeting?"

She used the word _Padfeet_ which meant that she was really angry – or she wanted to look like she was. Sirius decided to mend things and since he did not dare to risk having his lip chewed off, he decided to try another method of convincing.

Angela only sighed when she saw the big canine eyes, looking soulfully at her. However, she lost no time and also changed.

Padfoot instinctively jumped back, when he found himself face to face with the growling she-wolf, and she yelped victoriously. Padfoot went to her and nudged her nose with his in an Eskimo kiss. Empress finally surrendered and a note of content fought its way into her growl.

"Merlin, what's going on here?"

Padfoot and Empress separated and looked at a grinning James, who was Levitating a tray with food in front of him.

"Excuse me," he said, "I must have gotten the house wrong. Lily!" he cried. "Come in and enjoy the mini zoo that is currently residing in our house."

Lily followed her stomach into the room and barely fought her smile at the sight of the two canines that were shooting very human – and very dirty – glances at her husband and Remus, who did not bother to even try to hide their mirth.

"Excuse me," she said, "but I've had this dinner planned for six people, not four people and two animals. I think I can arrange something, though," she added. "James, would you mind going to the shop and buying some dog-food?"

Now, everybody laughed, including Angela and Sirius, who finally resumed their true forms, still laughing.

"After a whole day spent in training, I think I deserve better than dog-food," he said, looking approvingly at the salver that was still in the air. "Turkey, salad, Butterbeer – "

"Oranges, and chocolate cake," James finished helpfully.

"NO!" Sirius and Angela both shouted at the same time, and James slapped his hand across his forehead.

"He said the C-word," Remus stated unnecessarily, but his words were drowned in the clambering of small feet. Not even a second later, Cane ran into the room.

"Cake!" he cried, and headed straight for the tray.

"Does he have an implanted radar or something?" asked Peter, trailing into the room behind Cane. "I swear that this boy can smell a cake from fifteen meters."

"Canine nose," Sirius grinned and went to pick up his son, who was trying to reach the tray.

"Daddy!"

"Hello, Champion."

"The cake, Daddy. I want the cake," the two-year old said, looking hopefully at Sirius.

"I am sorry, Cane, but you can have a piece of cake only after you've eaten your dinner."

Cane frowned. "But I don't want dinner! I want the cake!" he stubbornly insisted.

"I am sorry, but you'll have to eat your dinner first," Sirius answered calmly. "And that means eating your vegetables too."

Cane's face suddenly broke into a smile. "We don't have any vegetables," he said.

"Actually, we have them, Cane, just for you," Lily interjected, and Cane's face turned into a picture of misery. "Listen, go back in the other room and wait there. Do you know what we have here?" Cane shook his head. "Prongs is here, just for you," she said.

Cane's face lit up and James' contorted in horror.

"He'll be in the other room in a couple of minutes and you can ride him," Lily added brightly. "But only if you promise to be good and eat your dinner."

"I'll eat it!" Cane promised energetically and left the room, practically bouncing with excitement.

"Lily?" James said after a while, lowering the tray on the table.

"Yes, darling?"

"Don't you think you should have asked _me_ whether I wanted Prongs to be ridden?"

"No, I don't," Lily answered, and Sirius, Remus, and Peter burst out laughing.

"You'd better get used to it, James," Sirius advised his friend. "It starts in less than three months and it won't stop until the baby is too big to ride on Prongs' back."

James growled something incoherent, but quite clear in its sense, and that only made Sirius laugh harder. "Maybe we should lend Cane to you for a day or two," he said. "Just so you can, you know, get used to having a child in the house – "

"Over my dead body!" James exclaimed, and then sighed. "Who beat me into showing Prongs to him, can you tell me?"

"I have it worse," Sirius comforted him. "In several hours, we're going home and you'll be free, and he'll be tormenting me – Padfoot."

Lily sat on the sofa, rubbing her stomach. "Come on, Sirius!" she said. "I'm sure it isn't that bad."

"It is!" Sirius and Angela answered simultaneously. "And to think that I felt miserable when Padfoot wasn't allowed to come near him," Sirius said. "Lily, I had no idea that it could become worse!"

The red-head could not hide her smile anymore. "Is that so?"

"Oh yes!" Angela said. "We thought that Padfoot and Empress were going to play with him and then – you know what happened. Oh, how I long for the quiet days when we were forbidden to go near him in our canine forms."

The other four exchanged smiles – they all knew that a child's idea of having fun with the family pets was very different for the animals' in question.

"How do real animals deal with those monsters – I mean, those children?"

"A good question," Angela muttered, and then she beamed at him. "Merlin, just listen to us," she said, "how we are talking about our child."

James sighed and looked plaintively at them. "I suppose I'd better go and have this finished as soon as possible," he said. "When I'm back, we'll have dinner."

"I'm coming too," Sirius said immediately. "I'll enjoy the sight of Cane tormenting someone else for a change."

The four men left and the two women reveled in the silence of the room, feeling quite relaxed. After a while, Lily asked, "Is it really that bad?"

They laughed and Angela replied, "Yes. Sirius has it worse than me, though, because he enjoys spending as much time as Padfoot as possible, while I don't feel the same need."

"Does Cane really drive him mad?"

"Yes, that he does. He thinks that they are playing and they really are – in a way. Sometimes poor Padfoot only seeks for a place to hide in, comes to me and looks at me sadly. Cane folds his ears, plucks his fur, once he even tried to bite his tail – "

"You must be kidding!"

"It's true! He keeps thrusting his hand into Padfoot's mouth, sits on top of him and so on. And what can Padfoot do? He can only put up with it. I'll scold Cane and tell him to leave Padfoot alone, he stops tormenting him for a minute, and then it all starts again."

Lily burst out laughing. "But I've seen them together and they – they looked happy."

"Oh, they are," Angela agreed. "Padfoot doesn't hold grudges and Cane adores him – and he's ready to do anything for Cane. So, it's not all bad."

She stood up. "I'll go and see what those men are doing. And I'm warning you, Lily, if James has given Cane another chocolate bar, you'll be the ones paying for his first appointment with the dental Medi-witch."

James had not given Cane anything. In fact, he was doing nothing but sitting with Remus and Peter on the sofa, watching the pair that was sitting on the floor.

Cane and Padfoot were eating ice-cream. For a moment Angela stared. Yes, her eyesight was as good as ever. Cane was holding the ice-cream in his right hand, licking at it and then holding it out for Padfoot to have a lick, too.

"What's going on here?"

Cane nearly dropped the ice-cream. Padfoot's fur bristled up with horror, and Peter's face turned green.

"Oh-oh!" said James in a small voice.

"It's no good, Pads," Remus said, looking at the huge dog who was trying to stand between Angela's sight and the ice-cream. "She saw you."

Padfoot's ears drooped miserably, and Angela barely resisted the urge to laugh. Three grown-up men, a little boy, and a big dog, and they were all scared of her.

"Can I have a bite?" she said, sitting on the floor next to Cane, who put the ice-cream to her lips and then to Sirius' mighty jaws.

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**A. N. Please, be good and leave me a review!**


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